I’m writing this review with half a heart and after drinking half a bottle of whiskey. Get it? Half a bottle?
I know it was a bad joke but so was this movie. Arjun Kapoor stars in a yet another mind numbing and plot crushing movie penned down by none other than the king of numerical book titles – Chetan Bhagat.
There I said it all. Want to hear more? Still wanna see the movie? Be my guest, if you wanna get your definition of love updated from taking care of your beloved to stalking her to the ends of the world. Dwell on a journey with Mohit Suri to fall face first into something which the producers call love, but actually borderlines on desperation. Watch as Arjun Kapoor takes a 22-hour flight to New York just to find Shraddha Kapoor -who rejected him twice- wearing a mini dress during New York Christmas. I hope she didn’t get pneumonia though.
Get lost in the melodious songs handpicked by Mohit Suri, meant to numb the headache you would get after watching this age-old form of Bollywood entertainment. No, seriously go watch it. Afterward just don’t come crying to me.
Half Plot
The movie starts with a talented but gullible country boy facing the most difficult problem he’s ever gonna face in life – How to talk to a girl without fumbling? Contrary to producer’s belief it has nothing to do with speaking English though. Arjun Kapoor would face the same problem in any other language while trying to talk to a girl with drool in his mouth and absent impressions on his face. It’s forced down the throats of the audience that English is the main problem faced by the hero of this movie when really it is the lack of good dialogues and dialogue delivery.
Bihari boy Madhav Jha (Arjun Kapoor) meets Delhite Riya Tsunami (Shraddha Kapoor). Or was it Riya Somani? I forget. She is clearly way way way out of his league, but a man that he is; he still tries to impress her. Being good in basketball obviously helps him a lot, alongwith the fact that apparently, nobody studied in the college that they were in. I’m pretty sure if he were studious and spent the time that he wasted showing off in Basketball court in the library learning English instead, he would become a stud and get the girl in style. Right?
What do you mean being good in studies doesn’t get you the girl either? Then what does? Damn this is confusing.
Well be it the common hobby of basketball or Riya’s habit of wearing only knee length dresses at best; Madhav falls in love with Riya. The feeling is not mutual of course. That, however, doesn’t stop Riya with her first world problems to use Madhav to fill the void in her life at no risk of commitment. Sounds like a commercial for a mutual fund.
Lo and behold starts another well-worn Bollywood love story with the boy trying to make the girl fall in love with him and the girl trying to give competition to Miley Cyrus in her wardrobe selection.
One-Fourth Performance
On a serious note, raising issues such as discrimination against smaller states like Bihar and the dire need of equal education for this country is something Bollywood needs to highlight upon. But using those issues to support a movie like this and strengthen a plot which has nothing, in reality, is something I am not comfortable with. It’s one thing to say that a language can’t decide a person’s status in the society and it’s another to say that it’s okay to leave everything you and your family has worked hard for in your life for a girl who simply can’t make up her mind.
The performance of the two lead characters doesn’t help the weak script too. Arjun Kapoor is seen running in half the movie, and Shraddha Kapoor trying to find her expressions in her handbag. I would say that Shraddha’s basketball skills were atleast better than her acting skills, but that wouldn’t be true. The music like any other Mohit Suri film goes a long way in redeeming the performance of the plot and the star cast. In the end, I would only say that the songs were better than the movie.
English Medium
The plot touches upon a crucial issue in our society. English and the ability to speak fluently in the language of the upper class is something which has been and continues to be revered in our society as something coveted. More often than not in India, a language a man speaks is directly connected by those around him to his background, schooling and his status in society. A person from a small town is assumed to be illiterate and nervous, and a person from a metropolitan city able and confident, making the stigma stranger and truer than fiction.
The movie however instead of delving deep into the topic gently brushes past it using all the juice it can get to bolster the already weak plotline. If you haven’t seen Half Girlfriend already and want to see a movie which elaborates on these issues in a witty fashion, you should consider watching Hindi Medium.
Other than that, unless you’re seriously interested in watching Shraddha Kapoor in skimpy clothes with dead expressions and Arjun Kapoor running like a wounded gazelle, you should consider saving your money for a Disprin.
Suburban Wordsmith 