Check if People are Worth your Time
If you want people to know your worth, you yourself should know it first. Based on your assessment of your personality, you need to gauge if a person deserves to be taken seriously or not. If they are not deserving of yoru time, don’t waste time and energy on them. Not only because they are not worth it but also because when you are angry and arguing with them you are bringing yourself down to their level. You are proving to them that they are in fact equal to you and in doing so you are making yourself believe that you are needy and self-aggrandizing like them. This is a slippery slope. So, kill the baby right in the cradle before you start tumbling down the slope.
Don’t Be Surprised if They Betray You
If great epics like Bhagwat Geeta, Bible, and Mahabharat have told us something, it is that humans are born betrayers. It is only homo sapiens that hurt each other mentally and emotionally. There are no other species that do so. So be prepared and assume everybody is going to betray you sooner or later. Then and only then you will truly have no expectations and no disappointment.
It’s not to say that you should not trust anybody. You should trust people but that should be conditional trust and not unconditional. When you step into a shop to buy something, you don’t expect the shopkeeper to give you the best price. In the same way when you are dealing with people you need to understand that at the end of the day every person acts out of their selfishness and it is but natural. The day you understand that you will understand people. There are no good or bad people in the world. Same people are good or bad depending on the situation and time.
Stop Justifying Bad Behavior
I won’t state the obvious thing that justifying yourself to people who don’t want to believe you anyway, is of no use, and the people who trust you don’t need it. I would like to step forward and highlight that justifying itself is a slippery slope. One day you are justifying a mistake and the next day you’re justifying a murder. It might not escalate so quickly but believe me when I say, that it will escalate. So stop justifying your bad behavior, understand why and how it happened, and acknowledge it. Acknowledge that you were in a bad position and you reacted in a certain way that you shouldn’t have. Learn from it and move on.
Don’t Argue with Dumb People
When you argue with an inherently illogical person you bring yourself down to their level; something you need to be careful of. Confrontations in themselves are not problematic but this particular kind is. It’s because an illogical person is more experienced in baseless arguments and they know which buttons to press to make their adversary angry and hence weak. They are not looking for a resolution; they are only interested in gaslighting.
My advice for you? First of all, don’t argue with a narcissistic person because it’s of no use. Secondly, if it does happen instead of lamenting after the fact learn from the incident and make sure that it doesn’t happen again. I am not saying that the next time you shouldn’t stand your ground. Try explaining your point of view to them but if they are not receptive, just walk away because it will never work. If a person doesn’t listen to reason that means he/she just wants to fight. Whatever you say they will take the worst possible interpretation and start the quarrel all over again. So back off and don’t waste your time.
Don’t Open Yourself to Everyone
It is important to trust people in order to unburden your heart from solitude and remorse. But it is equally essential to not open yourself to everyone. Not everyone is looking to lend a helping hand or empathize with you. In fact, some people might be looking for a weakness or ways to exploit you, should the need arise. So always be aware and don’t divulge your deepest and darkest secrets without understanding the person’s motive behind talking to you and whether it is a good motive or an adversarial one. Opening yourself up is like handing the keys of your treasure room to someone and suffice it to say that it is not intelligent to give those keys to everyone.
Pick Your Fights
Do people consider you to be an individual who’s always ready for a fight?
Do you regularly hear statements like “I would always want you by my side in a fight?
Then beware! These underhanded compliments might mean that you are getting involved in fights that are not your own. When you take a stand be very sure that you are fighting for a reason that you truly believe in because if that is not the case you are most likely to lose. And it is mainly because your heart knows that it is not the right cause. Genghis Khan once said that only a fool goes to a fight he knows he will lose.
Keep this in mind the next time you are involving yourself in a fight. You need to be sure that you are fighting your own fight and are not being used as a weapon for someone else’s gain. You are not a cannon; you are a human being.