Are You Happy to Be an Introvert?

Is this a world of extroverts? You bet it is.

Our society has always been wary of exceptions to so-called normal behavior and the proverbial nails that stick out. Although in the 21st century we have become a bit progressive and accepting of the fringe members of society like the LGBTQ community, we have a long way to go in terms of understanding different types of personality types.

“Outspoken and loud people continue to be preferred over silent and contemplative ones, while extraversion is still looked at as the secret to being rich and successful. A man or woman who speaks less and introspects more is considered shy at best and dumb at worst.”

Outspoken people continue to be preferred over silent and contemplative ones. Extroversion is still looked at as the secret to being rich and successful. A man or woman who speaks less and introspects more is considered shy at best and dumb at worst. I know this because I have been the dark horse all my life and have been underestimated everywhere I went.

Even after graduating from one of the the top business schools in India and being a published author, it takes some time for people to accept me as a skilled and confident person just because I’m an introvert. I’m pretty sure a majority of introverts out there continue to face the same problems in their life.

What Is An Introvert?

Well if you were to ask the self-acclaimed definers of society’s rules you would be told that anyone who speaks less and seems shy is an introvert. According to them such organisms should be instructed again and again without remorse to be more outgoing and socially active.

The actual definition fortunately is a bit different. An introvert is actually someone who doesn’t interact with other people as much as extroverts do. This is not because of him/her being shy but simply by choice. In fact there are two important reasons behind this behavioral trait. First is that unlike extroverts, introverts don’t believe in small talk and are instead more interested in deep and meaningful conversations. Secondly, introverts don’t talk much because they express themselves and their feelings through other mediums like writing, singing, painting etc. That’s why most creative people and artists are introverts.

An introvert hence is a person who by choice chooses to speak less and observe more. They express their views and points confidently when required but in general believe in analysing, introspecting, and then responding. They are not impulsive and take a decision after careful consideration of all the options and facts available to them.

Most importantly, introverts are not shy or socially awkward.

Is Introversion Normal?

In case it isn’t clear I want to strongly reiterate two things. First is that it is a misconception that being extroverted is normal, and that introversion is abnormal. Extroversion and Introversion are personality traits and stem out of a plethora of environmental and psychological factors. They are just different ways of interacting with your surroundings, and hence there is no right or wrong here. Infact every human needs a balance between the two. There is a time and place for being silent and solemn, as well as for being loud and dominating.

Second thing I want to press upon is that just because introverts don’t talk doesn’t mean they don’t have anything to express. It’s just that their way of expressing is a bit different. Whereas extroverts speak their mind without any filter, introverts prefer other methods like the ones I mentioned in the previous section.

Scientific Reason Behind Being an Introvert

Many experts including Dr. Martin Olsen Laney (author of The Introvert Advantage) and Susan Cain (author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking) have supported a theory regarding the scientific reason behind introversion. According to this theory which has been the topic of many scientific studies, it is because of a slight variation in the body’s reward mechanism that makes a person introverted or extroverted. The two chemicals responsible for this biological foundation of personality traits are Dopamine and Acetylcholine.

For those who don’t know, Dopamine is a neurotransmitter responsible for the feeling of happiness or satisfaction that humans experience after performing an activity that we like or cherish. With popular phrases like Dopamine Rush and That’s Dope named after it, it is the celebrity chemical of our body that gets all recognition on social media. Although connected with only things a human enjoys doing it is technically responsible for giving humans the motivation to perform basic survival activities like eating, drinking, sexual procreation, and others. In fact, the absence of optimal Dopamine levels in the body can cause mental health diseases like Depression and Anxiety due to the non-fulfillment of basic Dopaminergic requirements.

Acetylcholine on the other hand is ironically the dark horse of our body. Although not as well known as Dopamine, it is a neurotransmitter that is also responsible for the feeling of satisfaction. However, its working mechanism is quite different. Dopamine is released in our bodies when we are socially active and perform outdoor activities like adventure sports, parties, and dancing. But Acetylcholine is released when we are alone and are essentially taking a breather from the world around us.

And this is where the difference exists between Introverts and Extroverts. The bodies of extroverted individuals depend on Dopamine for their reward mechanism but are inherently less sensitive to Dopamine. Hence, they have to perform more and more dopamine-inducing activities to fulfill their Dopamine needs. Introverts on the other hand are oversensitive to it. So performing social activities makes them mentally fatigued easily because they reach their desired Dopamine levels quite quickly. After that, any additional Dopamine just makes them tired and cranky.

Another significant difference between the two is that the Acetylcholine mechanism is highly active in introverts. As a result, they derive happiness and satisfaction from being alone and indulging in activities that support the release of Acetylcholine. Introverts don’t depend on social activities to raise their satisfaction level.

This theory breaks the myth that an introvert can transform himself into an extrovert because as we discussed they are biologically different from their socially active counterparts. And you can’t change biology.

Give the Silent Ones a Chance

I know in this world of high academic and workplace competition one needs to constantly sell oneself. In today’s market of too many options and alternatives, you need to not only grab and hold someone’s attention, you also need to make a place in their mind. My humble request is that in this constantly chattering carnival of life, once in a blue moon, give the silent ones a chance.

You never know what they might be hiding underneath; a singer, a writer, a dancer, or just a wonderful personality. Go beyond the thinly veiled allure of a socially active person and try to find the gems who might not be good at shining but are good at just being.